My Daughter Tessa

Is in a home for children with mental instabilities, we just sent her there last week and she is 9 years old. She suffers from ptsd from the sexual abuse by her babysitter which is in prison and serving time. Now when Tessa was around 4 we moved back over by my Mom because dh was going into the army and he wanted me by family. Well not such a good idea, when he got out we got pg with Neeko and around that time my Mom decided she wanted a divorce from my Step Dad she just didn't want to be married anymore. So I decided that I still wanted to have contact with my stepdad my Mom would hear nothing of it!!! We even went to a counseling session at my request to discuss this. It came to be that the counselor agreed that is was ok for me to keep this man in my life as I was and am an adult and can make my own decisions. Shortly after that we had to make a trip into Portland and dh dropped me off at my Mom's real quick while he went down to Shwabies to get the tires done. Even though I knew my Mom wasn't the happiest with me I figured since then she'd of calmed down and things would be okish. I had Tessa and Chey with me and all of a sudden she starts screaming and yelling about how I don't love her and how I am betraying her and not respecting her choices. Tessa at this time was 5 years old and Chey just about 2. All I remember doing was taking the girls out of the kitchen and turning my back on my Mom and she started beating me on the back with her fists mind you I was pg with Neeko at the time. I got the girls shoes on and told them it was ok and as I got Tessa out the door and had picked up Chey and had her on my side my Mom pushed me as hard as she could out the door. Tessa that sweet little girl caught my arm to keep me from going down on my belly and looked at my Mom and said "don't you hurt my Mommy"!!! My Mom says I was screaming and yelling at her as well, no I don't think so I just wanted to get my babies out of there!!! If there is one thing I have never done is stood up to my Mom. Why because with her being schizo it would only fan the flames and make her feel justified. Do I feel beat down you bet I do. Since that incident the kids have witnessed much much more. Not because I ever expect because I never know when it will happen.. So it looks like I will be making a complete break from her, why you ask? Because Tessa has made it known to her counselors in treatment that she is afraid to leave ME alone with her Nana her Nana is mean mean mean!!! We have a problem a big one and the only way I can forsee this cycle of abuse stopping is for me to move the whole family and try and hide from her. I did try this once before though and she found us. If I have to I'll get a restraining order. When you find out that your child's ptsd is also being caused by your adoptive Mother game over. WHen the not wanting to eat disorder kicked in and the cutting all the self harm we knew we had to do something for her. So for right now we get to see her on the weekeneds and until her other insurance kicks in we can't take her overnite till then. It's so hard not having her here with me with us. We feel so incomplete, and our hearts are heavy and sad. I have however reconnected with a cousin of mine who is like a Mom to me the way a Mom should be, kind loving and trusting. She is an amazing woman and I don't know how we could get through all this without her. So it looks like a move to the valley is in order. It won't be for awhile though we need to plan and prepare and I just need to get it through my head and heart that no good will ever come from a relationship with my adoptive mom it just won't no matter how hard "I" try.