Still here

Taking it day by day some days I'm numb other days all I do is cry and curl up in a ball and just hug my kiddoes. I miss her laughter her humor her advice I miss her hugs her phone calls and letters. I miss her cooking, and the way her and dh would interact they would tease each other so much it would have you in side aching laughter literally!!! I'll miss going to Pow Wow's with her too, it was so much fun to do that with her and the family. I'm alone now I know it's me and Wes now and I"m so thankful I have my Nephew he's been such a rock for me through all this. As has Dh and my Cousin Jeanne, still haven't talked to my Uncle and I'm not too sure when that will happen. Though my cousin told me to not hold my anger long for my elder while my head understand that my heart does not, not yet.

In other news we've yet to get Chey's eeg results back her ped is on vaca for spring break *sigh* but we should know something by Monday!! Not much else going on just finally getting the house out of junk zone and trying to get back into the groove the best I can. It's hard because my adopted family just doesn't care about what I'm going through I have one friend here who has helped keep my sanity. When my adopted brother found out he said well you know I didn't like her but you still should of had the choice to say goodbye to her when she was asking for you. Like I said they just don't get it. I know my little adopted brother would be sympathetic but I just don't want to talk about it with him I'll be a sobbing mess again and I'm exhausted from crying right now my eyes literally sting and I'm tired so tired sleep has NOT been forthcoming lately. My doc wants to put me on some sleeping crap but I don't need anymore meds!!! I have quite enough thank you!!! I was going to go down this weekend to Grand Ronde to where she is buried but will have to put it off till the 4th of July week because the puppy isn't old enough to be kenneled and there is no one here to take her and my friend would but she works at a humane society and they work with animals sooooo she said she would feel horrible if even with her getting her shots she came down with something she might bring home from work. That I totally understand!!! Ok I'm off the phone is ringing!!